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So Martin has obviously been on my mind lately. I was looking at my scribbles blog (I usually post dreams there, and he seems to have recurred a few times over the last few months.) I hate that he has power still to make me think about him. He shows up in my dream state, and then I have to think about my dreams for the day. I suppose that the major message I should be getting is that I haven’t totally finished dealing with him yet. I wonder what it will take? I fear the answer is along the lines of some kind of confrontation. I have this feeling that he won’t feel that things are really over. I mean my letter was pretty explicit, and so was the last phone call. To him, and to his mother. The fact that I had to explain it twice was a bit much, but even then I think he might be stubborn enough not to ‘get it’. At one point he really thought that we could really be a real couple again. Right up until the last time I talked to him, actually. Since then, I have no way of knowing if anything has changed. Grr…

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