Monday Mission

1. Have you ever been looking forward to something so badly that you were just crushed when it never happened? Yes, actually. I think this has happened to me quite a few times. First time I remember was in regards to a birthday party when I was six. I had it all figured out how it was going to be, with balloons and goody bags and cake. Turned out that there were no goody bags, there were no balloons and the kid who was having the party had an allergy to eggs, so there was no cake. (I was also looking forward to having a boyfriend that my friends could accept, but it seems that this isn’t going to happen, again. Sigh…)From then on I decided that I wasn’t going to have expectations like that. Then I learned that you have to expect some things, or you’ll never get it, like respect.

2. Have you ever been told about a wonderful present that you were never given? Maybe they went as far as telling you exactly what it was, how wonderful it would be and how much they would have loved for you to have it, but for whatever reason, they wouldn’t be giving it to you after all? How did you feel about that? Never in truth, though this was done to me in jest by a particularly nasty older relation when I was about 9. I thought I was getting a pony, but only sort of, because I wasn’t really into trusting the dude.

3. What is the longest time you’ve ever kept a secret from someone, or, are you still keeping it? How did it feel to keep it so long? Can you think of a situation you were in where a secret should never have been told? I still have a couple that I’ve never told, because they were told to me in confidence. As for a situation where a secret should never have been told, I can think of a few – of course one’s natural inclination for stupidity can come into play every now and then. Not that that is an excuse, just a fact of life.

4. In past relationships, I’ve usually been the one who has told the lies. When they came to light, the results were devastating. The few times I found out I was lied to really gave me a sense of what it must have been like. Have you ever been lied to by someone you trust with all your heart? How did it feel when you found out that trust had been broken? Oh hell yeah. Martin had me believing he was this really nice mild mannered guy who was going to school to be a cop. I suppose this is a lie of omission, because he never really told me everything about himself, especially that he was a pedophile.

5. When, if ever, is it acceptable to tell a lie? Are “white lies” any different than the “real whoppers?” I’m inclined to believe that lying is altogether a pile of crap and should never be done. You will eventually get found out, no matter how small the lie was to begin with, they tend to grow, because you have to keep telling little ones to cover the original one. This is especially true when said lies are being told to manipulate someone else, even if the teller of the lies thinks it’s for the other person’s own good.

6. I’ve found that when it comes to forgiving, I am a contradiction. If I’ve hurt someone I get mad when they won’t forgive me right away, but when I need to forgive someone else, I find it hard to do. How are you on forgiveness? Are you able to easily forgive someone who’s hurt you? I think perhaps I can forgive too easily. Mind you there are those who I will never forgive, namely the person named above, but compared to him, there are some slights that are so petty that it’s not worth holding a grudge. Besides, if I learn something from what people do to me then I should probably thank them for the lesson.

7. When I’m feeling down, or have no energy Dead or Alive’s “You Spin Me Round (Like A Record)” never fails to perk me up and get me going. What song gets your feet going and your energy flowing? ‘Never Gonna Come Back Down’ by BT and the dude from Butthole Surfers, ‘Shut Your Mouth’ by Garbage, and ‘My Friend’ by Dirty Vegas.