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To start with, my mama’s-boy kitty died this week, and I had to run up to Duncan with him in a box so that we could bury him in a nice place. I’m so sad!! He wasn’t even two years old yet. Yes, I am repeating myself, but this is hard. One of my little furry babies is gone! *cries*

I was supposed to hang out with the girls that day, Namely Amber and Naomi and Lindsie. So now, of course, Amber will think that its because I didn’t want to be around her after all this mish mash over John.

I can’t say I’m pleased with how things have turned out, mind you. I just have no idea what to say to her. I mean, I kind of asked for her to let me know when John wasn’t welcome, (thinking, you know, that he’d still be welcome sometimes, like when there were more people around to act as a buffer or something, and not what I got – this ‘i never want to see his face’ attitude) more out of courtesy to her than anything else, but it’s turned into this great big insult now. Yeah, it is kind of insulting to know that people you hold in high regard actively hate the one person you’ve chosen to share your life. I can deal with the not liking part. I just think that its sad that it’s got to this point. I keep rereading Amber’s letter and I still have no solution.

My student loan isn’t in my bank account yet. I’m supposed to have an essay read from a textbook by friday, and there isn’t even a copy of the damn thing in the library. Professor says, ‘borrow it from one of your classmates’ sure – none of whom I have ever seen in my life. We all know how easy it is for me to go up to a complete stranger and ask for something don’t we? Arrgh. Here’s hoping that the paycheck I get this week is big enough to get me started, and the damn phone bill paid.

Then last night, I get a virus alert. Not the blaster thing that’s going around, mind, but whatever it is is bad enough to screw up everything nice and royally so that John has to clean my computer out. So he F-disks it. Nothing on my system now, not even a stinking partition. Would have been perfectly fine if the damn restore CD hadn’t got all scratchied up since the last time I used it, not even two weeks ago. So now I have a blue screen that says ‘cannot read disk’, which might very well be permanent. I went to the store I got the computer from and they said that a replacement CD has to come from the manufacturer. I went to another place, to see if they could fix it… the little cleaner machine they have is worth forty bucks that I don’t have until payday, which is what I’m earmarking for my books – unless my loan comes through tonight by some less that likely miracle.

I am so screwed.

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