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It’s been a week of strange customers and even stranger brain farts. Sometimes I wonder if my brain’s not some alien refugee or something. Crikey.

I had a lady in this last week – I swear she was suffering from a form of aphasia or something, because she would say something and mean the opposite:

me: Can I help you?
customer: No. I want a sweater
me: a cardigan or a pullover
customer: a tee shirt
me: a top of some kind?
customer: do you have any pleated pants?

I kid you not. I was very confused. And she was the tame one. I swear there’s been a full moon, or about to be one. All the crazies are out. Not the least of which is me. I hate retail.

Been battling the migraine beast again. It’s a pain, because I get the nasty headache, and then I take some painkillers, it goes away, and then I get the foggy left eye for hours. Still trying to figure out what exactly triggers them.

I’ve been thinking too much. Mostly about the way things are.

I’m working a retail job, and I hate it. I know that soon I won’t have to, but I’m getting impatient. I can see the end result, but I’m still missing a step somewhere. This is a little more frustrating than perhaps it should be. I can fix this.

In the meantime there’s the fact that I have bills to pay and I’ve got a minimum wage job. This sort of depends on the former at this point, and is just as frustrating as it should be.

My friends. I love my friends dearly for who they are, their sense of humour, their laugh, their solidity… all those things that make them who they are. Friendship to me is when two people accept one another for everything they are, not what they do or who they date. These two people support the other in all they do, even when they disagree, not to pass judgment. Say one decides to go to a party that the other knows will turn into a pissfest or something equally unappetizing. The other expresses their fears, and when the first decides to go anyway, he/she goes with them, or waits up to bail them out when the time comes. Bad example. I’m tired, but you get the point.

I’m saddened by the way things have turned out with Amber and company. Especially now that she’s about to be a mom. We were friends for such a long time. I even considered her my best friend, which is why this whole thing hurts so much. It feels like she’s valued her personal dislike for John above our friendship. (I’m not even going to go into everything else I feel in regards to the contents of that letter. I’m afraid I’d say some equally petty and hurtful things if I did.) I think it was enough for her to say that she didn’t like John, that much honesty one might expect from a friend, but to tell me that it’s him or her with no middle ground… I’ve never liked ultimatums and I can’t forgive her for giving me one in regards to the person I’m involved with. I don’t know what she expected from me when she did that. It’s a manipulative tactic, and I thought I was done with those when I got rid of Martin. I’m tired of defending John. I shouldn’t have to. I chose John. No one else made me do it. It’s not up to anyone else and it never was. Seems Mark’s words were right: there is no going back. Sorry folks. New chapter, I guess.

k. done rant. Bring on the backlash.

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