There are some pretty interesting fashion statements happening out here today. Here are the main rules I swear these people go by:

1) Wear pants that are so low rise that people don’t have to wonder if you shave (extra points if your hip bones jut out)

2) wear tiny tight tees that show off your midriff (points if you go braless and the shirt is thin cotton, or you wear a bra you can see through the fabric)

3) Pierce things. The more the merrier

4) Get a tattoo that’s partially hidden by said extreme low-rise pants so that people have to wonder that the rest of it looks like (same goes for your tiny tank top – especially if the tattoo is on your chest)

5)If you’re blonde, wear tan-coloured tops that match your skin tone so that people think you’re naked on first glance.

6) wear shiny pants

7) wear short skirts with slits up the side and then try and cross your legs when you sit down.

8) wear capris and spike heel boots.

9) wear your underwear higher that the waistband of your pants

10) dress like madonna did in all her early 80’s videos

11) Make your butt look bigger by
a) wearing pants with flaps on the back pockets
b) wear low rise pants with wide waistbands and wider belts
c) lose the buttons on said pocket flaps so they stick out

And then there is the other half of the class who prefer these rules:

12) wear clothes you found in the thrift store from the seventies with old combat boots and suspenders that obviously once belonged to a logger.

13) wear seven skirts of varying lengths – at the same time

14) Dreadlocks on white people

15) turn your tea towels into pretty skirts to wear over your jeans

16) Dress like Strawberry Shortcake minus the hat and mary-janes