Red Dwarf cracks me up. I had this scene in my head all day. Enjoy:

LISTER: What do you mean you don’t want to leave?

RIMMER: We’re happy here.

KRYTEN: We’ve found a niche.

RIMMER: We’re the “Sensational Reverse Brothers!” We’ve only been here three weeks and we’re a big hit.

LISTER: Rimmer, everything is backwards!

KRYTEN: We’ve got used to it.

RIMMER: It’s true! Once you get over the initial shock, things actually make a lot more sense this way ’round. There’s no death here. You start off dead, you have a funeral, then you come to life! As each year passes you get younger and younger until you become a newborn baby. Then you go back inside your mother, who goes back inside her mother, and so on, until eventually we all become one glorious whole!

LISTER: Rimmer, you already are one glorious hole! You’ve totally flipped, man.

KRYTEN: We want to stay!

LISTER: But we CAN’T stay! Look, I’m 25 now — in 10 years time I’ll be 15. I’ll have to go through puberty again! Backwards!

CAT: Imagine that! Your gajimbas will suddenly rise back into your body, and the next thing you know you’re singing soprano in the school choir!

LISTER: And worse than that — in 25 years I’ll be a little sperm, swimming around in somebody’s testicles! I mean, pardon me, but that’s just not how I saw my future!

RIMMER: I’m telling you, things are better this way. It’s our universe that’s the wrong way round. KRYTEN nods in agreement.

KRYTEN: Take war. War is a wonderful thing here! In fifty years time, the second world war will start — backwards!

CAT: And that’s a good thing?

KRYTEN: Millions of people will come to life. Hitler will retreat across Europe, liberate France and Poland, disband the Third Reich, and bog off back to Austria!

RIMMER: We’re smash hits here! We’d be crazy to leave.

LISTER: Rimmer, we don’t belong here! This place is crazy!

RIMMER: Crazy? Death, disease, famine — there’s none of that here.

KRYTEN: There’s no crime! The first night we were here, a mugger jumped us and forced 50 pounds into my wallet at knifepoint!

LISTER: Okay, okay! But look at the flipside of the coin. It’s not all good. Take someone like, say… St. Francis of Assissi. In this universe, he’s the petty-minded little sadist who goes around maiming small animals! Or Santa Claus — what a bastard!


LISTER: He’s the big fat git who sneaks down chimneys and steals all the kid’s favorite toys!