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2 things to think about:

Is Higher Education a right or a privilege? I was having a conversation with a girl in my early class this am when a speaker came in to talk about the student council elections. She said that she felt that higher education was a privilege, not a right. (I suppose I can see where she’s coming from, knowing someone who is abusing the system by getting a student loan to pay for new boobs as she does) Also, if you’re just going because you were supposed to and don’t really know waht you’re doing after, that also fits into that world-view. But I was kind of shocked. If there were no tuition caps or student loans, I would not be in university. If I had to rely on grants and bursaries to get here, I would have been lost in the dust because there are far more ambitious and intelligent people out there than I. When we were speaking, I immediately said I thought it was a right, but now I’m not so sure. I know I have a right to it, as do others of my mental capacity and ambition, but what about the ones that abuse the system? Do they have a right to a higher education? What about the ones who have everything paid for by their parents? How can you make sure that the one who deserve education get it, and those that are there just for the free ride lose out?

How M affected other people. Not that I wasn’t aware that he had an impact on others, not the least of which was his mother, but that I didn’t really pause to mentally put myself in their shoes. I suppose for a while it was because I was so wrapped up in being numb and dumbfounded by the whole thing that I could get past what I felt. Now that I’m able to write about it, I can step back from it, I find that I can do that now. I’m embarrassed to admit that it took me this long to think about it deeply. I had been busily creating masks for myself to hide behind that now, when I feel brave and whole enough to come out and write about what I really thought and felt, I can start to think about what everyone else was thinking and feeling at the time. My apologies for being the agent that enabled something that taboo, that other, touch your lives as well.