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Ok, I admit it, I stole this idea from The Mad Pigeon because I was terribly amused by the

question. So here it is: “describe the five things society at large enjoys, but that I, for the most part, just don’t get…”

1. Let me begin with this person to the left here. I don’t understand the attraction to this person – I hear her name spoken repeatedly while I’m downtown, and her face is plastered all over magazines and websites. She’s not all that attractive and certainly her empty-head routine (is it a routine?) is old by now? And why is she famous? Because she shares her name with a hotel? Because she’s rich? Or because of her sex tape? *shudder* She perpetuates all the bad stereotypes of blonde women and for that I simply cannot bring myself to admire or worship her the way others do.

2. Certainly I’m not the only one who shakes her head in puzzlement when the TV announces yet another “reality” TV show. What’s “real” about it, anyway? It’s not like you’ve hidden a camera in someone’s kitchen where you get to watch them wash dishes and cook their dinner every night, no. It’s scripted – albeit loosely – and contrived. Sure no one’s rehearsed anything, but how “real” is it to stick a bunch of half-remembered celebrities in a mansion where they’re one bedroom less and unable to exit? That’s not “real” that’s torture, to them and to us. So stop doing it already!

3. Coffee culture. It’s a drink made from ground up coffee beans and as far as I’m concerned the more crap you put in it the less like coffee it really is. I see people every day ordering their Starbucks half-caff, double-cream, extra foam mocha whatsit and cruise around the mall or work or downtown with the cup extended in front of them. What is this some kind of status thing? “I can spend 10 bucks on my morning coffee: I’m better than you”? I don’t get it. And why is it “do you want to go for coffee?” now and not “do you want to go grab something to drink?” Not everyone actually likes coffee. Don’t look shocked. It’s true. My world does not revolve around starbucks or similar coffee houses. I may be a coffee heathen, but give me my Timmy’s ice cap and I’m done.

4. Tricked out cars. And I’m not speaking about the ones that have an upgraded stereo or dual exhaust pipes and new springs – I’m talking about the ones that young men spend thousands of dollars on just to look cool, nevermind perform well. Yes, I realise I dated a guy who had this obsession, but that didn’t get me any closer to understanding it. So they buy a new car – or rather they sign an agreement with a dealer that says they will eventually pay off the car because no kid that young has enough $$ to buy the thing outright unless they have rich parents – and then they embark on this ridiculous journey to “pimp it out”. The car is brand new, and yet they feel the need to tweak the thing until it’s insanely fast and insanely loud and insanely unique (I mean, come on – who really needs a DVD player in thier trunk?) and then cruise around being insanely fast and loud to – what? Prove to other men that they’ve got a car and they don’t? Prove they’re cocky young bucks? (I even saw one the other day that had fringe in the back window. I kid you not – fringe.)

5. The Low-Rise Trend. Ok, some people can get away with this look, I’m the first to admit to this, but there is certainly a limit to how low you can go. A) Most people don’t have a figure that allows for the line intended by designers of said low-rise pants. And if you do, most people don’t want to see your hipbones or your thong either. B) there are those that don’t have the figure who insist on wearing them, even though it does nothing to flatter their shape so that their round little bellies (and sometimes not so little) pour from under their top and over their waistbands. Sorry girls, it just makes you look like that man in the smelly shirt with the beer belly sitting on the couch watching football, not a sexy diva. It seems that taste has nothing to do with this fashion item and I’m disturbed by the number of tweens who sport this look on a regular basis. Ok, lets leave nothing to the imagination of the perverts out there, shall we? (I’m going to stop here, because this otherwise may turn into a full-blown rant about the idiocy of media culture that perpetuates image as the only thing that matters. That’s another blog!)

Alrighty. This was supposed to be a tag meme, but since I stole it rather than getting tagged, I challenge anyone who feels the need to share thier five “I don’t get it’s” with me. Come on, I know you waaaant to