In the last six months I’ve become familiar with more kinds of migraines than I’d care to admit. I tend to blame the stress level I’ve achieved since working at the call centre. They seem to be falling into categories, which I’ve made up between exasperating and hair-pulling calls.

1) The Temple Spike: You may be familiar with this, where a single spike of pain stabs into your head through one of your temples and throbs for hours.

2) The Burning Eyeball: This is the one where the pain arcs behind my eye sockets so badly I fear my eyes are going to fall right out of my head.

3) The Fog: This is often not accompanied by much in the way of pain, though sometimes I’m not so lucky. However, its main disconcerting feature is the fact that I can’t actually see anything for the rippling fog that overtakes my vision.

4) Ring of Danging Elephants: I think this is self-explanatory, as it feels like there is a ring of elephants or trolls dancing around the crown of my head, threatening to crack my skull into many pieces.

5) The Dual Spike: Where there are two spikes of pain, and not necessarily at the temples that threaten to stab right out the other side.

6) The Sinus Invasion: Does the term “my face hurts” mean anything to you? Yeah, this is commonly affiliated with the sinus cold, but lately I’ve not had the pleasure of runny noses to accompany this little treasure.

7) The Vampire: light sensitive anyone? Where any or all of the above are accompanied by extreme sensitivity to light and/or noise.