Wierd Ones

Wierd Ones

1. Did Noah take poodles on the ark? If so, why? If not, then where the heck did they come from? He took the big poodles onto the ark. The little football sized ones are a mutant strain, stunted by the intake of “poochie snacks” and the constant humiliation of the “poodle cut”.

2. How do you solve a problem like Maria? Send her to rock star camp.

3. What will you do when after years of service and subjugation, the robots finally decide to attack … and they will? Ok what will you do when the gerbils finally decide to overthrow their human overlords? Finally what will you do during the great toaster uprising of ’09? Robots? We have robots? I’m pretty sure that if a robot doesn’t want to do something, it just won’t. I don’t imagine that there are many in the way of wimpy robots. If I have a robot at that time, I imagine it would think it was human anyway. Gerbils are another story. I’ll go live somewhere where it’s too hot, or too cold for them. Toasters… I’ve already dealt with recalcitrant toasters. You take them apart. Just ask Talkie.

4. How can I tell if he loves me so? Is it in his eyes? Is it in his sighs? Is it in his face? In his warm embrace? It should be in the fact that he says he loves you, because in a perfect world he would be telling you the truth.

5. So you think you’re better than your old man huh? What old man?

***

1. What’s the matter with kids these days? They’re too self-absorbed.

2. If the road to hell is paved with good intentions, what is the road to heaven paved with? Hrm… Heaven’s road is paved with good deeds, I suppose. What about the road to purgatory? Lies. What about the road to Richmond, Indiana? McDonalds refuse. Wierd Ones

1. Did Noah take poodles on the ark? If so, why? If not, then where the heck did they come from? He took the big poodles onto the ark. The little football sized ones are a mutant strain, stunted by the intake of “poochie snacks” and the constant humiliation of the “poodle cut”.

2. How do you solve a problem like Maria? Send her to rock star camp.

3. What will you do when after years of service and subjugation, the robots finally decide to attack … and they will? Ok what will you do when the gerbils finally decide to overthrow their human overlords? Finally what will you do during the great toaster uprising of ’09? Robots? We have robots? I’m pretty sure that if a robot doesn’t want to do something, it just won’t. I don’t imagine that there are many in the way of wimpy robots. If I have a robot at that time, I imagine it would think it was human anyway. Gerbils are another story. I’ll go live somewhere where it’s too hot, or too cold for them. Toasters… I’ve already dealt with recalcitrant toasters. You take them apart. Just ask Talkie.

4. How can I tell if he loves me so? Is it in his eyes? Is it in his sighs? Is it in his face? In his warm embrace? It should be in the fact that he says he loves you, because in a perfect world he would be telling you the truth.

5. So you think you’re better than your old man huh? What old man?

***

1. What’s the matter with kids these days? They’re too self-absorbed.

2. If the road to hell is paved with good intentions, what is the road to heaven paved with? Hrm… Heaven’s road is paved with good deeds, I suppose. What about the road to purgatory? Lies. What about the road to Richmond, Indiana? McDonalds refuse. Also why is the road to hell paved with good intentions; certainly there must have been better materials that they could have used? Well, bones comes to mind, but come on, doesn’t Satan want visiters? I think he used the things he thought would welcome more people.

3. I found a note I scribbled late at night while in fear of losing a precious thought. The note reads “Sin occurs at the boundaries.” Now what the heck did I mean by that? Boundaries between taboo and desire?

4. If there is ever a movie called “‘Alien vs. Predator’ vs. ‘Freddy vs. Jason’ vs. ‘Shark vs. Crock’ vs. ‘Goldman Sachs vs. Soloman Smith’ Barney’ vs. ‘Ebert and Roper vs. Smith and Wesson'” who would win? Smith and Wesson. All it takes is one well-placed bullet. Also what would the plot be? Will the battle be a single elimination tournament, round robin, double elimination, etc? Free for all… whoever comes out on top, wins. They all have to acquire some kind of high point, so that they have to fight each other to get there. What will they name the ultimate sequal to the movie – and trust me, there will be one? Versus: Death Match Who would be better in the part of Alien #3 – Ian McKellen or the late Alec Guinness? neither. Which contingent will the humans side with? I think they’d spend most of the time hiding, or in the case of Americans, trying to blow them all to kingdom come. Would they be lead by a character played by Jean Claude Van Damme? No, by a female character played either by Milla Jovovich or Angelina Jolie. Why or why not? Because I’m pretty sure people would realise that a chick with a gun’s not going to put up with any crap from anyone, least of all a purple Dinosaur. đŸ˜‰ And last, but not least, will there be any talking monkeys in the movie? Of course.

5. Why are those electric wires called “High tension wires”? Do you feel nervous around them, I don’t. Also they are usually drooping down in big arcs and there seems to have be anything but tense or taut. I think they’re probably a little jumpy from channelling so much electricity.;”>Also why is the road to hell paved with good intentions; certainly there must have been better materials that they could have used? Well, bones comes to mind, but come on, doesn’t Satan want visiters? I think he used the things he thought would welcome more people.

3. I found a note I scribbled late at night while in fear of losing a precious thought. The note reads “Sin occurs at the boundaries.” Now what the heck did I mean by that? Boundaries between taboo and desire?

4. If there is ever a movie called “‘Alien vs. Predator’ vs. ‘Freddy vs. Jason’ vs. ‘Shark vs. Crock’ vs. ‘Goldman Sachs vs. Soloman Smith Barney’ vs. ‘Ebert and Roper vs. Smith and Wesson'” who would win? Smith and Wesson. All it takes is one well-placed bullet. Also what would the plot be? Will the battle be a single elimination tournament, round robin, double elimination, etc? Free for all… whoever comes out on top, wins. They all have to acquire some kind of high point, so that they have to fight each other to get there. What will they name the ultimate sequal to the movie – and trust me, there will be one? Versus: Death Match Who would be better in the part of Alien #3 – Ian McKellen or the late Alec Guinness? neither. Which contingent will the humans side with? I think they’d spend most of the time hiding, or in the case of Americans, trying to blow them all to kingdom come. Would they be lead by a character played by Jean Claude Van Damme? No, by a female character played either by Milla Jovovich or Angelina Jolie. Why or why not? Because I’m pretty sure people would realise that a chick with a gun’s not going to put up with any crap from anyone, least of all a purple Dinosaur. đŸ˜‰ And last, but not least, will there be any talking monkeys in the movie? Of course.

5. Why are those electric wires called “High tension wires”? Do you feel nervous around them, I don’t. Also they are usually drooping down in big arcs and there seems to have be anything but tense or taut. I think they’re probably a little jumpy from channelling so much electricity.;”>1. Did Noah take poodles on the ark? If so, why? If not, then where the heck did they come from? He took the big poodles onto the ark. The little football sized ones are a mutant strain, stunted by the intake of “poochie snacks” and the constant humiliation of the “poodle cut”.

2. How do you solve a problem like Maria? Send her to rock star camp.

3. What will you do when after years of service and subjugation, the robots finally decide to attack … and they will? Ok what will you do when the gerbils finally decide to overthrow their human overlords? Finally what will you do during the great toaster uprising of ’09? Robots? We have robots? I’m pretty sure that if a robot doesn’t want to do something, it just won’t. I don’t imagine that there are many in the way of wimpy robots. If I have a robot at that time, I imagine it would think it was human anyway. Gerbils are another story. I’ll go live somewhere where it’s too hot, or too cold for them. Toasters… I’ve already dealt with recalcitrant toasters. You take them apart. Just ask Talkie.

4. How can I tell if he loves me so? Is it in his eyes? Is it in his sighs? Is it in his face? In his warm embrace? It should be in the fact that he says he loves you, because in a perfect world he would be telling you the truth.

5. So you think you’re better than your old man huh? What old man?

***

1. What’s the matter with kids these days? They’re too self-absorbed.

2. If the road to hell is paved with good intentions, what is the road to heaven paved with? Hrm… Heaven’s road is paved with good deeds, I suppose. What about the road to purgatory? Lies. What about the road to Richmond, Indiana? McDonalds refuse. Also why is the road to hell paved with good intentions; certainly there must have been better materials that they could have used? Well, bones comes to mind, but come on, doesn’t Satan want visiters? I think he used the things he thought would welcome more people.

3. I found a note I scribbled late at night while in fear of losing a precious thought. The note reads “Sin occurs at the boundaries.” Now what the heck did I mean by that? Boundaries between taboo and desire?

4. If there is ever a movie called “‘Alien vs. Predator’ vs. ‘Freddy vs. Jason’ vs. ‘Shark vs. Crock’ vs. ‘Goldman Sachs vs. Soloman Smith Barney’ vs. ‘Ebert and Roper vs. Smith and Wesson'” who would win? Smith and Wesson. All it takes is one well-placed bullet. Also what would the plot be? Will the battle be a single elimination tournament, round robin, double elimination, etc? Free for all… whoever comes out on top, wins. They all have to acquire some kind of high point, so that they have to fight each other to get there. What will they name the ultimate sequal to the movie – and trust me, there will be one? Versus: Death Match Who would be better in the part of Alien #3 – Ian McKellen or the late Alec Guinness? neither. Which contingent will the humans side with? I think they’d spend most of the time hiding, or in the case of Americans, trying to blow them all to kingdom come. Would they be lead by a character played by Jean Claude Van Damme? No, by a female character played either by Milla Jovovich or Angelina Jolie. Why or why not? Because I’m pretty sure people would realise that a chick with a gun’s not going to put up with any crap from anyone, least of all a purple Dinosaur. đŸ˜‰ And last, but not least, will there be any talking monkeys in the movie? Of course.

5. Why are those electric wires called “High tension wires”? Do you feel nervous around them, I don’t. Also they are usually drooping down in big arcs and there seems to have be anything but tense or taut. I think they’re probably a little jumpy from channelling so much electricity.

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