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Tag Archives: Canadiana

It’s tough being Canadian

13 Saturday Sep 2014

Posted by Khali in Journal

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adventures in foreign exchange, beer, British Columbia, Canada is awesome, Canadiana, first world problems, funny, gamer girl, gaming, hometown, igloo mama, my pet moose, stereotypes, yes it starts to snow as soon as you hit the 49th parallel

Once upon a time I was called “repressed” for apologizing for bumping into someone on a bus. I felt pretty witty when I rebuffed the man by pointing out that what he mistook for repression was something called ‘manners’, a thing he was obviously unfamiliar with. He was understandably taken aback – having not imagined that a Canadian girl would actually talk back to him – but the incident got me thinking.

I have a lot of acquaintances and even friends all over North America because I am a gamer. I love mmorpgs, it’s a thing and I’m not sorry. What these games do is afford me the pleasure of meeting people all over the world. Less often do I get to play with European gamers, due mostly to time differences, and sometimes language barriers, but I have met many interesting people in my career as a gamer, in customer service to tourists, and as a traveller. One common thing I run across are the stereotypes Canadians are labelled with. “Nice” being one of them which amounts to the fact that we apologize for everything. Like I told the loudmouth tourist on the us that day: actually, no. It’s called manners. It’s getting a little rarer that people hold the door for the next person these days, but by and large we are a polite group of people. We had manners impressed on us by our parents: always treat your elders with respect. Let the old people get on the bus first so they get the good seats. Give up your seat for the elderly or infirm or that pregnant woman who’s so front heavy a breeze might tip her over. We pick up garbage on the street and toss it in the bins, we give change to the homeless guy or buy him a coffee when it’s cold. We apologize for bumping into each other because we’ve invaded each others’ personal space without invitation and that’s just polite.

See, these things go by another word too: consideration. I’d like to change that stereotype to ‘considerate’ – and honestly I’d like everyone to be considerate. Think how nice it feels when someone thanks you for what you’ve done or you’ve been offered a cool drink on a hot day, or invited inside to visit with a neighbour.  You’re far more likely to pay that good feeling forward, just like a smile passes from one passerby to the next and that just makes the day better in my opinion.

There’s nothing wrong with having manners and I think giggling about how ‘nice’ we are is a tad rude. But let’s move on to some of the other stereotypes and assumptions I’ve come across in my time. Some of them are completely true and others have come from a place of just plain old ignorance .

Our beer is stronger than our southern neighbour’s beer. This is true if you’re just looking at the alcohol % on the label, but technically not when you start talking about how that content is measured, but shhh that might start an argument!

Yes, Tim Horton’s is an institution and no we don’t want Bieber back.  Many of us say ‘eh’ but only in eastern Canada will you hear ‘aboot’ regularly. We spend Loonies in the grocery store and have to buy our booze in a liquor store. Most of us still identify with our ancestral origins and keep some of those traditions and many refer to themselves hyphenated Canadians. Our pride as a nation is solid, but our national identity is still diverse. Maple syrup, bacon and poutine are very Canadian, but you’ll not find a “traditional” Canadian meal without some ancestral influence. We can get our milk in bags. We have Peacekeepers instead of soldiers. Most of us have strapped on a pair of skates at least once in our life and most of us watch hockey. And though not all of us are rabid fans, everyone knows who the local team is and when hockey season is on. We don’t see social programs as communist agendas, mainly because we believe that every person has the right to the basics of life: shelter, medical care, food and education. You could probably chalk that up to our manners again: we care about the well being of our neighbours. Though many people own guns, it seems to be for a purpose rather than to merely own one. It’s not easy to get them and most people feel just fine having never seen one in their lives. They’re registered and locked away for a reason.

The number one question I get asked when I travel though is “is it cold there”? I blame the fact that our capital is in Ontario, where snow and ice storms abound in the winter. People think of Canada as that only, when it’s really a hugely diverse country, both climatically and ‘ethnically’. Some parts of Canada don’t get huge drifts of snow and no one certainly gets snow all year ’round. Related to this; Igloos. Yes, I have been asked countless times if I live in one. I’m not kidding. (This could get tiresome if I didn’t think it was so damn funny.) I live on Vancouver Island, which has two seasons. Wet and not wet. In the summer it gets hot enough to swim, so getting asked if I live in a house made of ice made me laugh outright the first few times. Then it kind of got annoying to answer with the truth every time and then have to explain that I live in an actual house. I started responding to the question with ‘yes’ and being terribly amused with the ensuing hilarity. “How do you stay warm?” “Do you have electricity?” In one forum I have the group completely convinced I live in an igloo, take a dog sled to work and have a pet Moose named Freda who comes to the kitchen window every morning for Tim Horton’s coffee. And the internet delights in perpetuating our more outlandish stereotypes. I will admit that I like it when people run with it like I have. I mean, why not?

But what’s really hard about being Canadian? When people assume we’re pushovers or doormats because we’re polite. Not so. Chris Hadfield anyone? Emily Carr, Margaret Atwood, Michaëlle Jean, James Doohan, Susan Musgrave, James Naismith, oh hell, just go have a look: here. You can be polite and still accomplish a great many amazing things.

We’re more than our stereotypes. We’re hardy, diverse, industrious and kind. We create, build, contribute, defend and support. Welcome to Canada.

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no sugar tonight

04 Monday Aug 2008

Posted by Khali in Journal

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Canadiana, music

rarely can I say that I like the live performance better than the recorded track. This is definitely an exception. Hooray Burton Cummings, lol. Sarah McLachlan was also quite good, but we decided to come home now rather than later. The crowd was starting to get on my nerves. Seems we weren’t too soon either, because there seemed to be an awful lot of sirens as we were leaving the area. *shrug* Happy Birthday BC.

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Happy 150 years BC

04 Monday Aug 2008

Posted by Khali in Journal

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Canadiana

So this weekend marks the 150th birthday of BC as a Province. There are all sorts of things going on downtown apparently, not the least of which seems to be some fighter jets (Snowbirds or something) flying in formation over our apartment and threatening the sound barrier with the roar of their engines.

Anyway, there are also a bunch of free type concerts happening on the front lawn of the legislative buildings. J wants to see Colin James so we’re heading out to do that and eat out. (Apparently CJ is on stage at 4 and J got a bit miffed at me because it was after 3 and I’d not had my shower – but I honestly thought we were leaving at 4, so now I’m ready and now he’s shaving…we’re still leaving at 4. *rolls eyes* I even have my shoes on!)

Throat still feels rotten – and I am so freaking hot I need more lemonade!

listening to: Ghosts – NIN
eating: apples
drinking: lemonade
feeling: rotten
headspace: *sigh*

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Sleeping is giving in

09 Wednesday Jul 2008

Posted by Khali in Inspiration

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Canadiana, music

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Happy Canada Day

01 Tuesday Jul 2008

Posted by Khali in Journal

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Canadiana, little black raincloud, small things

can hear the fireworks even from here. my ears are ringing.

walked through the park earlier and saw a swallow that had something caught around one of it’s feet. it worried me, but there was nothing I could do short of trying to catch him… futile, but still. I smelled all the flowers on the way back because I wanted to find joy in something and managed to fail miserably. Ok that’s a bit of a lie, because the flowers and the birds are so fucking innocent one can’t help feeling a little joy out of it, especially that robin who’d found a nicely turned plot to listen for worms in, but then I’d turn back to j and something else negative would fall out of his mouth: about the economy or the state of something. apparently everyone’s an idiot and everything is going to shit. so many wired and wide-eyed kids downtown, drunk teenagers and people high on life. I sat on the curb while j went to go pee and felt so alone even as swarms of people moved around me. A girl with a glass globe rolling over her hands and arms, people selling glo-sticks, people wearing flags and weird red and white getups, a girl who had painted herself red from head to toe…

came home before the fireworks because we were cold.

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apparently, here in Canada we have bent the laws of mathematics

09 Wednesday Aug 2006

Posted by Khali in Journal

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adventures in foreign exchange, Canadiana, funny, I kid you not

Little E had an interesting customer today:

“200 US will give you back 218.37 Canadian.”
“That doesn’t seem right, what was the rate again?”
“1.1056”
“Then I should get more back.”
“There is a small flat fee of $2.75, which comes off the total.”
“But that’s still not right,”
“$200 US times 1.1056 equals $221.12 Canadian, minus 2.75 equals 218.37” says Little E, going through the receipt and writing the equation out on a piece of paper. passing both to the customer who squints at it.
“That still doesn’t seem right. Do you have a calculator?”
“Sure,” Little E says and slides one out to the customer, who does the equation and, of course gets the same answer. She stares at the numbers for a moment and then looks at Little E with something like suspicion.
“Is this a Canadian calculator?”

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05 Tuesday Aug 2003

Posted by Khali in silliness

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Canadiana, funny

These questions about Canada were posted on an International Tourism Website and obviously the answers came from a fellow Canuck. (funny email I got…)

Q: I have never seen it warm on TV, so how do the plants grow? (UK)
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.

Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA)
A: Depends how much you’ve been drinking.

Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto – can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it’s only Four thousand miles, take lots of water. . .

Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada? (Sweden)
A: So it’s true what they say about Swedes.

Q: It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of places to contact for a stuffed Beaver. (Italy)
A: Let’s not touch this one.

Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Canada? Can you send me a list of them in Toronto, Vancouver, Edmonton and Halifax? (UK)
A: What did your last slave die of?

Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada? (USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Ca-na-da is that big country to your North … oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary. Come naked.

Q: Which direction is North in Canada? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 90 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we’ll send the rest of the directions.

Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada? (UK)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys’ Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is. . . oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Vancouver and in Calgary, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.

Q: Do you have perfume in Canada? (Germany)
A: No, WE don’t stink.

Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Canada? (USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.

Q: Can I wear high heels in Canada? (UK)
A: You are an American politician, right?

Q: Can you tell me the regions on British Columbia where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.

Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada? (USA)
A: Only at Thanksgiving.

Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter gatherers. Milk is illegal.

Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Canada who can dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA)
A: All Canadian rattle snakes are perfectly harmless, and can be safely handled and make good pets.

Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada, but I forget its name. It’s a kind of big horse with horns. (USA)
A: It’s called a Moose. They are tall and very violent eating the brains of anyone walking close to them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.

Q: I was in Canada in 1969 on R+R, and I want to contact the girl I dated while I was staying in Surrey, BC. Can you help? (USA)
A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour.

Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.

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