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just to say, sick

My throat feels like I’m swallowing razorblades.

My ears feel like there are tiny monkeys in my head bashing away at them like Taiko drums.

My gut feels like there are about a dozen crocodiles wrestling inside.

I had restless dreams all night.

Today is going to be AWESOME.

/end dripping sarcasm.

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But inside your heart it is black and it’s hollow and it’s cold

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music, sick

My head feels like it had a brick inside it. Ok, perhaps that’s not quite accurate enough, because, while it certainly feels heavy, I really don’t think that there’s anything solid up there.. and whatever that non-solid stuff is, it’s leaking out my nose… great visual, eh? Sorry, but it’s the truth.

I just had a nap while I was reading more fluff. Yeah, it was so bad it put me to sleep, which was kind of the intention. Of course, now I have weird marks on my face from rolling over onto the thing.

I spent some time hunting up some old songs that I missed, so those are downloading now. Makes me happy. Of course, that’s the only thing that I intended for today that I actually accomplished. (OK, Lie, I did vacuum before my pass-out – there was an excess of things on the floor for my bare wee feet to pick up.) But. I wanted to clean more. There are piles of things everywhere. I don’t know where anything is, but when I looked at the whole mess this morning I just suddenly felt so very tired

Everything makes me tired it seems.

I had a post of some kind worked out in my head yesterday, but I think I sneezed it out. Perhaps it will return later… hopefully.

listening to: the Hand that feeds – Nine Inch Nails
eating: tea
drinking: tea
feeling: erm…

awash in fervent dreams

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reading, sick, think

My back is still not happy with me. Nor is my throat – it’s gone from annoying morning tickle to almost all day annoying tickle. I don’t think the heat helped at all since I found myself breathing through my mouth quite a bit. It was so hot today I didn’t want to move. 31 degrees outside and no matter what I did I couldn’t get cooler. I showered twice and I think I’ve drank enough water to fill the tub twice. I hope it’s not so hot tomorrow.

I used the time to read – and spend time with the parental unit. She brought me kitty reports, which always make me smile. I miss my kitties horribly.

But I’ve read the entirety of Utopia and have started (halfheartedly, I admit) Plato’s Republic. I’ve got the Pillowbook of Sei Shonagon waiting for me when I’ve done – if I can wait that long. (To think that this was written about the same time that Beowulf was first set down on paper…) I thought it was time that I started reading all the things I’d been meaning to read for however long, because, well, why not?

Anyway, Utopia has made me think. I like that. It’s so freaking relevant in some ways that I found myself now and then going “yep!” and sometimes “hrm…” because the downside to a “perfect” society is, of course, a lack of variety. I’ll probably read it again, since it’s relatively short, and honestly funny. I think More had a fine sense of humour even as he sought to address the ills of his government.

“After all, it’s a natural instinct to be charmed by one’s own productions. That’s why raven chicks are such a delight to their parents, and mother apes fond their babies exquisitely beautiful.” ~Utopia, Book I

“…as if it would be a major disaster for anyone to be caught being wiser than his ancestors!”~Utopia, Book I

“For, when everyone’s entitled to get as much for himself as he can, all available property, however much there is, is bound to fall into the hands of a small minority, which means that everyone else is poor. And wealth will tend to vary in inverse proportions to merit. The rich will be greedy, unscrupulous, and totally useless characters, while the poor will be simple, unassuming people whose daily work is far more profitable to the community than it is to them.” ~Utopia, Book I

Now lets hope I get some sleep tonight now that it’s cooler.

listening to: Tenuous – Sleepthief
reading: Utopia – Thomas More
eating: uh… leftover things…
feeling: melted
headspace: what the hell am I doing here?

retrace my steps, in case you dream of me…

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adventures, sick

I had some strange dreams while I was napping yesterday. In one I was walking down this path in a university garden – I know it was a university because there were a bunch of old buildings mashed together with newer ones on either side of the garden, which was filled with trees. Flowering like the plum and cherry trees are right now. Anyway, I was going to meet someone, and in order to do that I had to cross the river. So I head down the path and it winds its way to the waters edge. This part of the river must be very slow, or have turned into a lake on my way down there (you know how dreams are) because there are lily pads in the water where I have to get the boat. It’s a row-yourself deal, so I get in the boat and row across. There are picnic tables on the other side and people swimming in the shallows. I pause in the middle and look for the person I’m going to meet when a bird lands in the bow of my boat and it looks at me with one little black eye.

But! I’m feeling ever so much better today. It’s amazing what a whole crapton of sleep can do for you. I can’t give it all to the sleep though. Mom called at some point yesterday in my bleariness and she says “you’re missing something your diet! I mean, yes you’re missing vitamin D, but we all are. You need some Guinness!”

So here I am on the other end of the line thinking ‘what did my mother just say?’ so I ask her to repeat herself, sure that it’s the painkillers talking and not her, but sure enough I heard right. A Guinness. Apparently my grandfather was told to have Guinness after an operation and someone else she knew was told to have some after she gave birth for the simple fact that it “has something in it”. So I figured what the hell.

So I drank one. Almost a whole one because holy crappydoodlefuck does it not taste all that great. But. I feel good today which I can’t attribute entirely to the sleep I had last night for the simple fact that I was restless – probably due to the excessive napping I did earlier in the day. Either way. I feel better and this is a good thing indeed.

J, however is not feeling so hot. Just roused him from a nap to feed him dinner (read: put it in front of him, he’s a big boy after all) but he’s till pretty groggy and ill. The Guinness, all three of them, did not help him any it seems.

I went also to visit the lovely Lindsie today. She made a yummy brunch including real eggs for us and then we planned an adventure. I have homework! Hehehe!

I had a lovely walk back. The weather was not so freaking cold as it has been so I took the long route – both to enjoy the springiness and to look for vacancy signs. Found a few and called them with dubious results. (Also, wanted to put off laundry for as long as possible, but hey. It’s done now.)

I did not get any writing done, but I did get some thinking about the writing done and whether you believe it or not, that’s just as good. Hopefully. =P Besides, I received another essay to edit and that requires a different part of the brain altogether.

listening to: Balligomingo – Escape
eating: butter chicken
craving: Yorkshire pudding, peanut butter cookies
things that do not taste good together: Guinness and toothpaste
project of the day: laundry
reading: the Kama Sutra of Vatsayayana
word count: nada (eek!)
word of the day: tambula
quote of the day: “…for it is a universal rule that however bashful or angry a woman may be, she never disregards a man’s kneeling at her feet.” ~the Kama Sutra of Vatsayayana Part III; Chapter II ‘About the Acquisition of a Wife”
pet peeve of the day: the fact that they keep discontinuing razor blades! Mofos! *shakes fist*
feeling: akin to human
headspace: low orbit

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sick

For the record, “cherry” nyquil tastes like crap….

out of the woodwork…

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sick, SSDD

Ok, so I’ve not posted in eons, but that doesn’t mean I’m dead. Contrary to the way I feel at the moment anyway. Had some really hot days last week. Wed apparently was a record breaker at 36C. Despite my best efforts at keeping cool I managed to get heat stroke. (This should really not be a huge surprise, since I’ve never done heat all that well. 25C is enough to make me turn into a cranky 4-year-old until someone throws me into a lake, river or ocean.) Slept like a rock last night tho and I’m starting to feel slightly more human. (and yes, I am human… least so far as I last checked =P)

In other news: not much.

Had a lovely visit with Lindsie last week. We spent most of it puttering in book and paper product stores. She also gave me the latest instalments of Tiny String which I enjoy immensely.

I’ve got to get myself back in a writing frame of mind. I’ve let myself go these last two months. In fact I’ve even stopped taking my notebook everywhere in my purse. So. I’m going to get myself back into the habit of doing something every day. I need to finish a few projects and I’m feeling rusty. Silly me!

eating: salad
reading: Æstival Tide – Elizabeth Hand
listening to: J raiding Heroic Mana-tombs with Kadago & Gang, also traffic