You know… I shouldn’t laugh, but seriously, this guy hasn’t got a clue.
“The HitchHiker’s Guide to the Galaxy has a few things to say on the subject of towels.
A towel, it says, is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitchhiker can have. Partly it has great practical value – you can wrap it around you for warmth as you bound across the cold moons of Jaglan Beta; you can lie on it on the brilliant marble-sanded beaches of Santraginus V, inhaling the heady sea vapours; you can sleep under it beneath the stars which shine so redly on the desert world of Kakrafoon; use it to sail a mini raft down the slow heavy river Moth; wet it for use in hand-to- hand-combat; wrap it round your head to ward off noxious fumes or to avoid the gaze of the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal (a mindboggingly stupid animal, it assumes that if you can’t see it, it can’t see you – daft as a bush, but very ravenous); you can wave your towel in emergencies as a distress signal, and of course dry yourself off with it if it still seems to be clean enough.
More importantly, a towel has immense psychological value. For some reason, if a strag (strag: non-hitchhiker) discovers that a hitchhiker has his towel with him, he will automatically assume that he is also in possession of a toothbrush, face flannel, soap, tin of biscuits, flask, compass, map, ball of string, gnat spray, wet weather gear, space suit etc., etc. Furthermore, the strag will then happily lend the hitchhiker any of these or a dozen other items that the hitchhiker might accidentally have “lost”. What the strag will think is that any man who can hitch the length and breadth of the galaxy, rough it, slum it, struggle against terrible odds, win through, and still knows where his towel is is clearly a man to be reckoned with.”
~The Hichthiker’s Guide to the Galaxy – Douglas Adams
Guess what I’m reading? =P
I hear and see some really weird stuff while at work, and get asked some pretty funny questions in the bargain. For example, I may already have mentioned the woman who wanted to know where the tunnel was from the Island to Vancouver and when we told here there wasn’t one she was so insistent, and even got to the point of hysterics that Lady J and I looked at each other and said “there isn’t, is there?” We ended up giving her directions to the ferry terminal, but to this day we can’t figure out quite how she imagined she’d been in one.
Yesterday I overheard a woman talking to another while waiting in line: “I don’t know if he was gay or just European!” she said. Heh….
And then there was the one who asked me where she could get totem pole seeds.
You don’t believe me, do you?
Last week though, I had a really good lesson on why you should always wash your hands after handling money. I mean, that should be a no brainer, but how many of you actually do it? I had a customer lick her money before she gave it to me. Not, lick-your-thumb-before-counting-it, I mean full on tongue-to-paper lick the freaking bill. And then she counted it and put it into the tray for me, wet end first. I seriously had to struggle not to make a face as I poked it about so I could pick up the non-soggy bit and count it myself. I tell you I washed my hands a few times after that! Oh and I gave those bills out to my next customer. *evil grin*
We’re watching “Virus” on Space atm and it got me thinking about all the stupid things that horror flick characters do. The only fun in them is figuring out which one will die first, how and who will be the last ones alive.
So: Stupid things horror flick characters do that you should avoid.
1. Never go downstairs
2. If there are no lights, don’t go there
3. Never split up
4. If it’s abandoned, there’s probably a DAMN good reason
5. blood is never a good sign
6. listen to the survivor, if there is one
7. Never stick your head in a dark hole
8. Never put your hand inside anything if you can’t see
9. Don’t follow ghostly voices even if you think it’s someone you know
10. If a door’s locked there’s probably something behind it, and it probably wants to kill you
Anything else I should add?
all that is glorious about Portugal
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