• About

Susan Scribbles

~ Darkmoon V: Still Writing

Susan Scribbles

Tag Archives: what miracle is this?

In which I discover the wonders of hair products.

01 Friday Mar 2013

Posted by Khali in Journal, Writing

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

bullies, facepalm, funny, hair stories, memory lane, mother doesn't always know best, teen angst, things that happened, things that make you go hrm, tomboy, what miracle is this?

poodle-aI have a love-hate relationship with my hair. I’m sure most of you can relate: you’re hair’s poker straight and you wish you had curls, or vice versa. Perhaps your bed head is the most epic thing about you, but the bottom line is that your hair never does what you want it to. This is why there is so much money in hair products.

But I digress.

I grew up rurally; that is to say I spent most of my childhood on a boat, or on a farm and basically messing about in the woods and on the beach, more often barefoot than not. How I looked was not a big issue with a little tomboy like little ol’ me, so my hair was in braids of some form or another all the time to keep it out of my face. Mom and I washed our hair in the sink because we did not have a shower. In fact in once place we lived we had to bathe in a galvanized laundry tub with water heated over the wood stove. I’d stand on a chair when I was little and mom would pour warm water from a measuring cup over the back of my head to wash the shampoo out. You knew it was a special occasion when my hair was loose, because that entailed a) my mother combing all the tangles out and b) me sitting still long enough for my mother to comb all the tangles out. Surely you remember this; those of you who had long hair as a child – the way your head invariably tilted backward with each firm stroke of the brush as whichever parent it was yarded on it to rip out the tangles. My mother, having very fine hair herself enjoyed brushing and braiding my thick, unruly hair for the most part. Her own hair was so fine she didn’t dare use anything except shampoo and hairspray to hold her perpetually perfect bun in place. (To this day I can’t replicate that bun, she rolled it so neatly that everyone thought she had twice as much hair as she really did!)

It wasn’t until junior high that I started to take an interest in my appearance. Up until then it took everything anyone had to get me out of my comfy jogging pants and t-shirts for formal occasions (yeah, I was that kid). Junior high saw my first pair of jeans (they even had little zippers at the ankle!) and my first bottle of hairspray. Unfortunately for me, no matter how much hairspray I used I had a zillion flyaways; little broken or new hair that fuzzed out all over. This earned me several nicknames, most of which related me to a Sasquatch or an electrocuted poodle and honestly the comparisons weren’t far off. My photos of that year (a year where enormous back-combed bangs was still the thing to have… oh 80’s and early 90’s I don’t miss you!) show me with a permanent frown and a mass of curling brownish hair that refused to actually curl or be straight all at once. Complete the look with big round glasses and an oversize Club Monaco sweatshirt (Oh it was the THING to have – I’d begged my mother for it for three straight months only to have it stolen off the back clothes line before the year was through) and you have the reason I was the butt of many nerd jokes.

It wasn’t until the next year; grade eight, that I learned something that would change my life forever. At least in terms of hair. I recall we were in the girls’ change room and someone was lighting sprays of hairspray on fire, watching the flames crawl and then die over the hospital green walls. My best friend was cursing another girl out for using her hair brush and I was patiently untangling a mass of knots that was threatening to become a mat; the result of the wrestling portion of our PE class. (Yes, wrestling. We had a choice between that and football and since neither of us relished the thought of being tackled into the foot of mud that passed as a playing field or having weird-shaped balls flying at our faces – or any balls for that matter – we’d opted for the former.) Someone said offhand, after watching me curse the hair I wished was long and luxurious rather than ratty and matted.

“Why don’t you use conditioner?”

Conditioner? I turned around to look at her, slightly puzzled. I’d seen bottles of this so-called conditioner on the shelves at the pharmacy and wondered as to it’s purpose, but never actually connected that it might be something I’d need.

“It’s supposed to smooth your hair so you don’t get so many tangles and split ends,” she explained further. It was like a choir of angels had started singing in my head. I didn’t even care that the girl was using a tone like she was talking to a retard (to use the slang of the time). I blinked and said the first thing that came to mind.

“I don’t think my mother even knows what that is.”

“Well go buy some, maybe then you won’t look like such a freak,” she sneered, much to the hilarity of nearly everyone in the room.

“At least I only look like one. Some people in this room really are freaks,” my best friend retorted hotly before turning to me and hissing. “You don’t use conditioner?” as if it was the most heinous thing I’d ever admitted to anyone. I shrugged. Mom sure as hell had no reason to use it and my beauty regimen was based on her natural approach; if it’s not broken don’t fix it. The fact that I owned eye shadow and eyeliner was a step far beyond my mother who only relied on a tube of lipstick to accent her delicate features.

It wasn’t until the weekend that I was able to convince my mother to purchase some shampoo and conditioner just for me. It was the kind my best friend used (Joico) because, naturally, she was the one I asked for hair product advice. It smelled of hair salons; a place I went once a year to get my ends trimmed – but it worked. Oh how it worked. My hair felt smooth, like actual hair rather than a bird’s nest. Instead of parts of it curling every which way and other parts of it refusing to, the whole mass started to wave and the frizzy little bits lay down long enough for me to look less like a static canine and more like a human girl. I think I washed my hair twice as often as usual that weekend because I couldn’t get over the results. It was like magic.

Of course, when it’s wet outside my hair still takes on poodle qualities, but nothing like it did pre-conditioner. So thank you hair products for helping me convince the world that I am not, actually of Sasquatch decent!

Listening to: Emancipator – Jet Stream
Drinking: Arizona Iced Tea
Reading: China Mieville – Railsea
Wrote: 2187 words today

Share this:

  • Tweet
  • Share on Tumblr

Like this:

Like Loading...

Recent Posts

  • (no title) April 21, 2018
  • The Power of Naming August 27, 2017
  • Word of the day: Tsundoku May 8, 2017
  • (no title) February 4, 2017
  • Bye-bye 2016 January 2, 2017

Recent Comments

Susan Scribbles on …
Dan O. on Review: Doctor Strange
Susan Scribbles on …
curiosetta on Feminist or sexist….?
Rebecca Griffin on Feminist or sexist….?

Categories

  • Book & Music Reviews (36)
  • Feminism (5)
  • Fiction (7)
  • Gaming (23)
  • Geekery (8)
  • Grammar Gripes (3)
  • Inspiration (54)
  • Journal (1,194)
  • Meme Hell (194)
  • Poetry (7)
  • Reading (39)
  • silliness (22)
  • Things I've Learned (12)
  • Travel (19)
  • Uncategorized (1)
  • Words (50)
  • Writing (20)

Tags

"homosexual agenda" "studying" "work" 'Murica ABC for another bloody castle a case of the Mondays acceptance adventures adventures in foreign exchange Age of Discoveries airport fun Algarve Alias Alun Armstrong Amanda Redman animals anniversary of a hellish day anxiety architecture argh art asshattery assholery Awesome characters baby ratses bad webmonkey battles beaches beards beautiful strings of words beer being a good human being Benedict Cumberbatch bibliophilia bigotry Billie Piper birds blech bleeding heart liberal blogdrive insanity bloggers booknotes bookoholic book reviews books booze bovine fury BP Miss BossyPants Brad Cran brainfarts bring me cheese or die British Columbia British Columbia Teachers' Federation British humour bullheadedness bullies caffeinated posts call centre madness campus life can't brain today Canada Canada is awesome Canadiana candid Captain Jack Harkness Castelo de Vide castles cathedrals and palaces cat-girl catharsis Catherine Tate cats cat things celebrities who made an impression celebrity crushes celebrity madness cell phone company fun character building chat chat funnies cheap therapy children China Mieville Christmas Christmas Spirit clean freak collecting words for poetry comics confessions Confucius connecting constitution constructive criticism control freak cork trees crazy cat lady creative non-fiction creativity crime drama critical thinking curiouser and curiouser cute cuz i'm an asshole damn dailies darkness David Tennant death Denis Lawson Dennis Waterman depression derp DIAF Diary diet is die with a t disconnection Doctor Strange Doctor Who dogs don't be a dick Donna Noble douchebag Douro drama! dreams drunk blogging Easter economy education Elizabeth Sladen Email epic fantasy equality Ernest Cline erotica essay blues etymology everything is complicated evil stepmother excessive distractibility explorations exploring facepalm Fado fairy tales family family madness fantasy Fatima favourite things fear-mongering Feminism feminist ferry problems fiction fierce first world problems flying lessons food forward funnies Freema Agyeman friends friends are the rarest treasures full moon freaks funnies funny funny search hits fun times gamer girl gaming Gardens geek geekery gender wars Gilmore Girls girl assassin Glyn good day grammar gravity sucks Greece green is the greatest gift to a city green space grief growing pains grr guilty pleasures Guimarães guns Gwendolyn MacEwen hairpulling hair stories Happy Canada Day headfuckery heartbreak Hemingway Henry the Navigator heterosexism hilarious historical fiction history hit me right in the feels holy balls batman hometown homophobia Homophone honeydew list horoscopes human nature I'm an alien I always ask the tough questions I always seem to learn things the hard way I can't hear you over the sound of our health care system ideas idiocy idiot roommates igloo mama ignorance Iguana I hate shoe shopping I kid you not I love getting things in the mail I love rain I love the smell of printer's ink in the morning immigration indigenous people inequality inexplicable inspiration internet funnies internet gods internet troll introspection introvert Jack Bristow James Bolam Jane Urquhart jerkism jetlag job hunting John Barrowman just crazy enough just to say karma is a bitch kids kitty blues language evolution laundry leprechaun learning about old dead guys learning curve lessons letters letters i'll never send Libraries lierature nut Lindsie Lisbon lists literary nods little black raincloud lol Lorna Crozier love love in the mist love your editor Lusitano lyrics M Mads Mikkelsen magic mama troll Martha Jones materialism Mateus maybe medieval towns megalithic monuments megaliths meme hell memory memory lane mentors midterms migraines mindfulness minutiae money Monty Python mother doesn't always know best motherhood motivation movie reviews movies MQ the Minutae Queen music Music Mambo My geek is showing my pet moose nanowrimo Naomi nature neighbours nerd nerdgasm nescience Neurotic Bunny new job news New Tricks Nightmares and Dreamscapes nihilism nostalgia not a fan not a workoholic notes nothing is as it seems nothing is ever easy novel obsess obsess obsess odd things Oporto Orphan Black our southern neighbour outside one's comfort zone overheard Over Sea Under Stone pain Paris Hilton people are weird people scare me perception persistent optimism personal demons personal growth perspective pet parents pets phantasmagoria piece of shit car pirates places where my OCD is not a curse planes PMS poetry poetry contests poetry days poetry is life poets politics pomp and pustules Port Porto Portugal psychobabble quirk quotations rabid fangirling racism raging ignorance random randomness rant rape culture ray of sunshine Readathon reading Reality TV shows recommendations relationships religion retail blues retrospective Rhavin answered my question and this is what happened Roman Ruins Romans Rose Tyler Ruth Ozeki sad Sarah Jane Smith satan is a bus driver school sci-fi science fiction scribbling madly self esteem sexism Shakespeare Shelagh Rogers short fiction shows I identify with shows I love sick Sidney Bristow siiick silly stuff Sintra small things snark sometimes bad things happen to good people sometimes I'm kinda funny sometimes there is no translation somewhere in the ether Spoiler alert! squirrel! SSDD stalker in the making star trek star wars step parenthood stereotypes stress stubborn student life Susan Cooper Sven the Wishgiving Moose talking furniture TARDIS Tarot Tatiana Maslany TDiR Teacher teen angst teh suck Templars thank goodness for netflix that time I was still a lizard mom the black dog the body politic The Canadian Pantheon of Gods the dark crystal The Dark is Rising Sequence The Fifth Element the girl from tomorrow the internet is full of strange and terrifying things the joy of animals the language of flowers the moose has spoken the road less travelled the second amendment the stupid is strong with this one the world is beautiful the world is on fire the world is strange things I've learned things I find beautiful things that happened things that make me angry things that make you go hrm things you don't tell your mother think Tim Torkildson Tomar tomboy tourism TP traffic travel travel bug travel writing trip hop TV ugh boys university us girls have got to stick together Utah Vilamoura Vocabulary voting wage slave wait what? Walli wank wank wank war webmonkey we call them 'customers' Wednesday Mind Hump what miracle is this? What the actual... when ridicule backfires white male privilege Why are mattresses so comfy? Wilkinson Prison wine wine wine wine! witch mountain women I love wonder wordfreak words words have power working WoW write all the crap! writing writing exercise writing music Writing Prompt writing prompts wtf Yes I did these things yes it starts to snow as soon as you hit the 49th parallel Young-adult fiction

Time Machine

Blogroll

  • AC360
  • Al Jazeera
  • Brandon Sanderson
  • Caitlin Kiernan
  • China MiĆ©ville
  • Chuck Wendig
  • Elizabeth Bear
  • Geoge R R Martin
  • Hyperbole and a Half
  • Jenny From the Blog
  • Jenny Trout
  • Jim Butcher
  • John Green
  • John Scalzi
  • Mark Reads
  • Neil Gaiman
  • PuddleLilies
  • Strombo
  • The Bloggess
  • Travelling Teacher
  • Wil Wheaton

Geekery

  • Internet History Sourcebook
  • Omniglot
  • Project Gutenberg Canada
  • Sacred Texts

Inspiration

  • Conjure One
  • Delerium
  • Emancipator
  • Escape from Wherever
  • Florence and the Machine
  • Leonard Cohen
  • Niyaz
  • Peter Gabriel
  • Shakespeare

More Me

  • Goodreads
  • Last.fm
  • Livejournal
  • Tumblr
  • Twitter

Reading

  • GVPL
  • Ideomancer
  • LFG
  • Shadow Unit
  • Stand Still, Stay Silent
  • The Oatmeal

Writing

  • Absolute Write
  • Awesome Writing Prompts
  • Fiction Post
  • Legend Fire
  • Literary Mary
  • Mythic Scibes
  • Nanowrimo
  • Wordsmith
  • Writer's Beat
  • Writer's Digest

Meta

  • Register
  • Log in
  • Entries feed
  • Comments feed
  • WordPress.com

Follow me on Twitter

My Tweets
Follow Susan Scribbles on WordPress.com

Blogs I Follow

  • Jessy Travels
  • Salt of Portugal
  • Fat Heffalump
  • S.D. Gates
  • Discover
  • Storyshucker
  • Thought Catalog
  • Extra Dry Martini
  • List of X
  • Donalyn Miller
  • The Tusk
  • A Leaf in Springtime
  • A Trick of Light
  • Travel Far, Travel Fast
  • MOON IN GEMINI
  • voices in our heads
  • Tutus And Tiny Hats
  • Jim Caffrey Images Photo Blog
  • Dart-Throwing Chimp
  • girls like giants

Create a free website or blog at WordPress.com.

Jessy Travels

@jessy_travels

Salt of Portugal

all that is glorious about Portugal

Fat Heffalump

Living with Fattitude

S.D. Gates

Discover

A daily selection of the best content published on WordPress, collected for you by humans who love to read.

Storyshucker

A blog full of humorous and poignant observations.

Thought Catalog

Thought Catalog is a digital youth culture magazine dedicated to your stories and ideas.

Extra Dry Martini

Straight up, with a twist.

List of X

This Blog Is Not Recommended By WordPress

Donalyn Miller

The Tusk

Drunk on truth to stupid baby power.

A Leaf in Springtime

"Be a dew to the soil of the human heart."

A Trick of Light

and the rest is rust and stardust

Travel Far, Travel Fast

One adventure at a time.

MOON IN GEMINI

voices in our heads

musing on the never ending barrage

Tutus And Tiny Hats

I am large, I contain multitudes.

Jim Caffrey Images Photo Blog

photography from the ground up

Dart-Throwing Chimp

Thoughtful analysis or bloviation? Your call.

girls like giants

thinking big: feminism, media, and pop culture

Cancel
Privacy & Cookies: This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this website, you agree to their use.
To find out more, including how to control cookies, see here: Cookie Policy
%d bloggers like this: