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ugh… Ate too fast. Tummy’s not happy with me.
I am seriously craving some P.M. Dawn right now and I can’t find the CD I burned it on. Found the ancient cassette, but that serves me little, since I have nothing to play the thing on anymore. You know what this means, right? This means I have to find a copy on CD somewhere, since… argh!!! My powers of internet hunting have been thwarted. Jesus Wept does not exist in mp3 form!! (Seriously, all I want to hear is Downtown Venus! Also missing Ashley MacIsaac, a couple of tracks from Jann Arden, the Wallflowers and Tori’s Under the Pink.)
*grumble* I did however, find some really old crap kicking around for my listening pleasure. (I am, however, loving the bass in the soles of my feet, my palms and my chest…I’ll have to turn it down soon.)
This came up because I was thinking about my commutes to and from Nanai-hole… I remembered that I made myself some mix tapes to keep myself awake and I ended up taking a trip down nostalgia lane – ok, maybe nostalgia highway. I miss driving: just me and the tape deck and the road… Anyway, I made those tapes on Nomes’ deck, I remember because I pirated a couple of her CD’s to do it, since she has such an awesome, eclectic collection.
*Sigh* I should renew my license! Haha!
“Got my hands on the wheel
Got my foot on the pedal
Gonna drive till I drop
Till the tires turn to metal” …from Where No One Knows Me – Jann Arden
Kind of listening to the rain outside. Amend that: rain and traffic. I miss mom’s place sometimes, where there is no traffic and all you can hear is the rain. Aah…
My brain is still active, in spite of the flu/cold/thing I’ve got that’s trying to gum up the works. Have been thinking about relationships, no thanks to my recent reading material. So a question for you blog-friends. What is it people want out of a relationship? No less than unconditional love, yes? Support and comfort while you grow into whoever you’re constantly becoming. So. Why is that so tough? Because it does get tough. I’ve heard it, seen it, lived it. One can only accept so much – and by that I mean, one can only accept so much that conflicts with their own way of being before things start to get… perhaps the word I’m looking for is ‘uncomfortable’. Indeed, one can only bend to fit so much before the branch threatens to break. Ideally one should be met halfway, yes? Should it not be easy to grow together? What happens when one grows and the other refuses?
I’ve come to think that my biggest flaw – blessing or curse perhaps – is this inherent, ingrained need/desire to please. I want everyone to be content and I’ll work to do what I can to achieve that. It’s become a flaw because I have a tendency to overlook my own needs to do it. That’s a problem. Why have I got this perpetual need to be the peacemaker?
I am a branch.
listening to: Republica – Bloke
eating: fish and chips (screw cooking)
feeling: introspective
word of the day: phantasmagoria (say it out loud, I dare you…)
craving: silence
word count: 824
reading: nothing. brain’s too full.