It’s night now. This darkness shit sneaks up on me. One minute it’s lunch time, the next it’s dark and I wonder where the day went. John and I are going out tonight. It’s time I think that we did this. We’ve both been so busy that we’ve just sort of crashed after work and that’s about it. I finished my essay – well, I’ve abandoned it actually. I feel like I can’t add 300 words without screwing the whole thing up. Meh, my writing’s not up to par these days anyway, but I really think I can’t do anything to it to make it better. So we might go to a movie or we might go dancing. I’m sick though, so a movie might be a better idea. Cheaper in the long run too.
Sometimes it’s easy to hate yourself, you know? I mean with all of the crap that comes your way in life you tend to blame it all on yourself. I keep thinking about some of the things that have happened to me and I start to ask myself what the hell I did to deserve it, or what kind of person am I to earn it. Everyone who knows me will know what I’m talking about. The rest of you, I might fill you in later if I feel brave.
I was thinking about drugs earlier today, and what they do to people. It’s amazing what people will do when they have a habit that they need to feed. Damn room mates… See, we have this roommate. With me in school and working part time and John having such – seasonal work it’s been sort of necessary to have one. He works with J sometimes. But he’s not doing well. There are two couches in his room from move jobs where people want them tossed, along with a bunch of other “free” stuff. The rest of this apartment is furnished this way too. Not that I had anything much to contribute when I moved in either, but that’s what happens when you’re starting over. Thing is, I think said roomie has been using. I can’t prove it yet and I’m not going in his room because it stinks, but J made it clear that was the deal breaker. I suppose we will have to see.
Anyway, I’m off to the movies or something nice with John soon, so I’ll have to stop sneezing and lamenting about the bad things in life.